Monthly Archives: April 2011

The Error of Forgetting to Day Dream!

Good afternoon!

I have stumbled across this article on MSNB.com. The article is called “Eat, drink, pee: Basic life functions we screw up”. I pulled out one piece that I thought would be a great reminder to me, and maybe to you too. I hadn’t realized this but we make a mistake in our daily lives, and that is that we forget to daydream.

Here is what this article has to say about this:

Your second mistake: Forgetting to daydream

What you’re doing wrong: “We spend most of our time in this brain state called the beta brain wave, which is associated with our logical thinking but it’s not a very inspirational state,” says Hansen. Daydreaming puts you into an alpha state where you are much more capable of creativity and inspiration. This is the feel-good state you’re in when you just wake up or fall asleep. It’s the same state a person reaches during meditation.

Health fallout: If you never daydream, zone out or chill long enough to enjoy this state, you never fully recharge, become inspired or have creative ideas. The alpha state can not only improve your emotions, but it can also improve your physical health. There are studies in the works that show reaching the alpha state through meditation specifically might lower the risk of both heart attack and cancer.

The fix: How much do you need to daydream? Experts say it’s hard to gauge but try to make time for a little alpha- recharging several times a day. Take 10 minutes to zone out and reflect on nothing in particular, focus on a fantasy like you won the lottery or landed your dream job, or try a mini-meditation.

To the read the whole article you can go to the article on MSNB.com called Eat, drink, pee: Basic life functions we screw up (

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/42459282/ns/health-behavior/)

Have a FABULOUS afternoon!!
~Christina 😉

The Chunky Dunker’s Club, Week 7

Good evening!

Welcome to week 7, of the Chunky Dunker’s Club!! Where does all of the time seem to go??

Every week I post a new Chunky Dunker’s article ever Wednesday evening, and you have the opportunity to comment, and cheer each other as you each go through your journey to get fit and healthy!!! We will discuss hints, tips, and ideas on losing weight, staying motivated, and achieving your fitness goals, whether that is to lose 5 pounds, to do 10 sit-ups, or just incorporate some healthy habits into your daily life!!

Tonight’s topic: Emotional Eating!

I am not sure about you, but I sure am guilty for eating, not because I am hungry, but because I am needing something emotionally. For example, I got home from a not so pleasant day at work not to long ago, and went right to the cupboards and ate two cookies. With nary a thought about, why I was eating those cookies. Was I hungry? What was I really needing? Were those cookies going to satisfy whatever those needs were?? Uhm…no, no, and no!!

What I am learning, as I go through this get fit journey with you, is that sometimes to have any kind of success, you first have to figure out why you do what it is that you are doing. It is all about pain and pleasure.

I believe there are two kinds of forces in this world that sway you to make a decision either one way or the other. Pain and Pleasure. What pain are you trying to avoid, and what pleasure are you trying to gain? Think about it, I ate the cookies because I was trying to avoid the pain of having to deal with my day, and to gain the pleasure of tasting some really yummy cookies.

How else do we use pain and pleasure in our get fit choices?

I am not going to get up to exercise because I want to avoid the pain of having to get out of bed early, and gain the pleasure of sleeping for an extra hour. I am convinced that this pain/pleasure principal applies to EVERY CHOICE WE MAKE!!!

HOMEWORK: Write down 5 choices you make every day, and what pain you are trying to avoid, and what pleasure you are trying to gain from each choice. Look at your answers, if you were to change you pain/pleasure that you associate with these choices would your physical life improve.

Underneath each choice, write what the reality of what you are doing here – this might be eye-opening for you.

For me, my homework would look something like:

Choice #1: I let Jason make my breakfast, snack, lunch and dinners, and whatever he makes I’ll eat
Pain I Am Avoiding: Having to take time out of my busy day to plan and do the work for this myself
Pleasure I am Gaining: It feels so good to have someone do all of this for me. I feel spoiled!! 😉
Reality: I don’t think it is wrong to have Jason help me in this way, but ultimately I have to be the one to be responsible for what I put into my mouth. I need to speak up and let him know what I want in my lunch box, so he doesn’t always have to guess, or over pack my lunch box.

Choice #2: I choose not to take time out of my work day and go exercise like most of my co-workers.
Pain I Am Avoiding: I am avoiding looking silly, sweating, or getting sore
Pleasure I am Gaining: I think that I can spend that hour a day doing more work at my desk
Reality: I think the reality is that the longer I sit at my desk, the slower my metabolism is going to get, the more weight I am going to gain and in 10 years, when I have all sorts of weight related sicknesses, I am going to look back and say, “why I didn’t I do something about my health when I could have?”.

Choice #3: Watching more than an hour of television every evening
Pain I Am Avoiding: Having to deal with chores that need to be done, or having to deal with negative emotions the might have emerged from my day
Pleasure I am Gaining: I get to zone out, and just stop thinking for myself
Reality: I spend more time watching other people “Live” than I actually do living myself. These people on television are not my friends, they don’t know who I am, they are not even real! Sheesh!

Choice #4: I choose not to get out of the house of the evening and go walking, or swimming with Jason
Pain I Am Avoiding: It feels like too much work
Pleasure I am Gaining: I make excuses for myself to not have to go out, “I have earned” being a lazy hermit somehow. So it is almost a sense of entitlement, plus I just LOVE being home.
Reality: I am really missing a great opportunity to not only increase my physical fitness, but to also spend some quality time with Jason. Realizing that makes me sad.

Choice #5: Not getting to bed early enough that I get at least 8 hours of sleep every night
Pain I Am Avoiding: I have this weird feeling that if I go to bed early then I will either “miss something”, or I will just have to wake up sooner to go back to work again
Pleasure I am Gaining: Uhmmm…getting to do one last chore, or cross off one last thing off of my to-do list
Reality: Who am I kidding?? This just makes me more tired, and irritable the next day, and it gets progressively worse until I get myself some sleep – that is not helping anyone!!!

What would your choices look like? Let me know in the comments above!

Have a FABULOUS evening!! 😉

Hi, Honey! I’m Home!

Good evening!

I have just gotten home from work, and man did I have a rough day!! Nothing in particular, but there is just a lot of work coming at us, and not quite enough of us to get it all done yet. I am so excited that Julie starts on Monday, even though part-time, I can’t wait!! She will be a breathe of fresh air for our team! Aaaah!

Anyway, there are so many changes going on at work right now, I have decided to pull out my copy of the book, “Who Moved My Cheese?”. Have any of you read that book before? This is a book that I pull out occasionally when I am feeling a little unsure of what the future holds!! I am not sure if my cheese is going to be moved, but let’s just say that I am getting my running shoes on and getting prepared. I know my cheese is out there, I just have to go find it!!!

It is Tuesday, which means it is my turn to cook tonight, and I have TOTALLY FORGOTTEN!! So, I gave my husband my leftover lunch, and I think I will have a bowl of cereal! Not the dinner of champions, but there you go!! Actually I may try and get it together enough to maybe make myself a healthy breakfast burrito! Ok, that sounds good!! I hope my meager lunch fixings will tide my Sweetie over until dinner is made! 😉

I have not been sleeping well, I am not sure why. I have been getting to bed earlier and earlier, but I seem to just toss and turn all night, and last night, I sat awake in bed for about an hour and a half, which kind of negates the reason for going to bed early in the first place, don’t you think??? 😉 So, I am going to take myself to bed a little bit early tonight, and then try and get some reading done before it is actually time to go to sleep. I will see if that gets me through the night. I am also thinking about possibly taking a melatonin. I hear that is a chemical that is a normally occurring drug your brain releases, maybe that will work. Has anyone used melatonin before? I have had success taking it before, but it has been so long that I have forgotten if I stay asleep all night, or if I have any problems getting out of bed in the morning! Anyone else have those problems??

Alright, so I do seem to be rambling a bit this evening, so I am going to get on the ball, and go make us some dinner – that is unless I can sweetly talk my honey into doing it for us tonight, which would be AWESOME!!! 😉 UPDATE: my sweetie has agreed to make dinner!!! YEAH!!! He gets to claim so buck-o brownie points tonight!!! Won’t he be pleased about that???

Have a FABULOUS evening!!! 😉

Note to Chunky Dunkers: Don’t forget that tomorrow night is Chunky Dunker’s Club Night!! I hope that all of you can be there! It is ALWAYS so much fun when we have a full house!! It is in’t too late to get some extra exercise in, or plan on eating a couple of healthy meals before we meet tomorrow!!! I can’t wait to see you there!!! YOU CAN DO IT!!! 😉

A New Take on the Tortoise & the Hare

Good morning!

Jason is busy telling me about his dream from this morning. He said that he dreamt that he was in boot camp for the Marine Corps, and he decided that he wanted to be an officer because he knew that would make me happy. He said he was the last in line, and wanted to get the attention of the drill sergeant.  Well, when he finally got to where the sergeant was doling out commands, he was surprised that he and another little skinny guy was chosen to do a race together. Jason was worried because he hadn’t heard the whole instruction, but he decided to use that to his advantage, by shouting at the other guy, “Well, what are you waiting for? Move it! Move it!!” Well, the little guy took off like a shot, and Jason waited, while the other guy got out of hearing distance, and said to the sergeant,

“Is there any thing you want us to do along the way?”

The sergeant, said “Yes, I forgot my hat, would you mind getting it for me?”

Well, Jason said he, took off at kind of a jog, and having watched where the other guy went Jason kind of followed him. By the time the other guy was shooting past Jason to get back to the sergeant, Jason was chuckling to himself because he knew something the little guy didn’t. Jason calls back over his should to the guy, who is now farther away from him, and yesll, “Hey, did you get the sarg’s hat??” The little guy immediately turned around to go back to the building from which he had just returned from. However, Jason had already gotten there, had the sergeant’s hat in hand and was jogging back towards the sergeant. Jason said the whole time the little guy kept hopping all around him like a cartoon caracter saying,

“Come on, give it me. Aw man, come on, please? please?” Like a little puppy to a giant great dane or something!!

HA! HA! HA! HA! I am not sure what that says about my husband, but if any of you would like to psychoanalyze him, I am sure the free counseling would be much appreciated!!! HA! HA! HA!!

Note to those of you who may not know: my husband is 6’8″, and is a gentle giant of a man!! which is why this dream is just so comical!!! 😉

I love you, Sweetie!! Thank you for sharing your dream with me, and letting me share it here!!! 😉

Have a FABULOUS day!! 😉

Week of Prepping for Changes!

Good evening!

I have just gotten home from work, and I have to tell you I have had a pretty good day! Busy, but very good!! You see, one of my very dear friends is joining my team next week, and the team is just soooo excited to have her start!!! She is just such a sweetheart, but she is also a self-starting, hard worker and she is going to be such a to our team!!!

To get ready for her arrival, my work partner and I have been putting together a task list, and cleaning up some otherwise confusing processes so that when we teach her how to use the tools that we utilize, it will be as least-confusing as possible!! So, that has take some time and attention, and I am sure I will spending more time on that for the next couple of days!! but it will be sooooo worth it!! 😉

Then that leads us to the biggest “change” for our team that may be coming up within the next couple of months, and that is that we may be relocating to a different floor of our building. There are a lot of pros and cons to the move, but I am always an advocate for change of scenery. But, I must tell you, my co-worker and I have been really spoiled by our current work spaces. We have GINORMOUS windows with the most BEAUTIFUL view! If we open our windows, we can hear the creek burbling by down below. There is a large tree, with birds and squirrels always stopping by and peering in. We also have the best view, in the entire building to the helicopter landing pad on top of the main hospital tower, so we can see every helicopter coming and going without fail!! So that will be sad. BOO! But, it will be nice to have the whole team together, however many we may end up as. So, we will see!!

Jason just stopped and told me about something that happened at the post office today. He said there was a little old lady who had walked into the post office, walked past the looong line of already waiting customers and said to the postal worker that she didn’t have time to wait in line, and handed her slip of paper to the gentleman. Apparently some other little old lady in the line took great offense at her audacity and started to wield her umbrella at the impatient customer. Jason said, he kinda got excited that there was gonna be a little old lady smack down, right in front of him. Well, thankfully, the postal worker was able to diffuse the situation, and all was well with the world. My hubby said he was kinda bummed not to see the grannies fight, but he was glad that no one was hurt. I am not sure how I feel about this story. A part of me wants to laugh, and another is just thinking “MEN!!!” What do you think???

Alright, well my sweetie almost has dinner ready so I am going to lend a helping hand!

Have a FABULOUS evening!!

Note to Chunky Dunkers: It is not too late to get some more beneficial exercise in before your weigh-in on Wednesday!!! Every minute counts towards your goal of fitness!! I am rooting for you, even from afar! GO CHUNKY DUNKERS!!! 😉

The Great Croissant Bake!!

Good evening!

My sweetie and I have just finished enjoying a few of the lovely croissants that I have made today! I paired them with some sugar free strawberry preserves as a nice dessert to go with an early grilled dinner. This picture is actually a picture of my end results. They really did turn out much better than I could have hope for.

That is one more thing crossed off of My Life List!! YEAH!!

These croissants were flaky, buttery, and delicious! They were quite time consuming and I made quite a mess in the kitchen making these, but I could definitely see doing these again for a special holiday like Easter, Thanksgiving, or Christmas. I am still a firm believer that I don’t like baking – I am not sure I have the patience for it, but I am very thankful that I had taken the time and energy to make these!! 😉

I have spent part of the evening watching the British mini series Daniel Deronda. It is such a great movie, and Daniel Deronda is simply a charming gentleman!! Great story. I am on episode 3 of 4, I can’t wait to see how it ends.

I really don’t have any extravagant plans for this evening. I think I going to spend some quality time with my sweetie this evening, and we may still yet go swimming, which will be fun. Other than that, I am going to enjoy a quiet evening doing some reading and getting ready for another work week. 😉

Have a FABULOUS evening! 😉

This Might Be Why I Don’t Bake!

Good morning!

I have been up since about 7:45 this morning! WHOO! HOO!! I slept an hour more then yesterday!!!

Today is the day of my great Croissant extravaganza! Well, it the day that I am tackling the task of baking homemade croissants from scratch off of My Life List! I am using Allrecipes.com’s Quick Butter Croissants recipe. So far I have been doing a lot of griping, and whining, and complaining, and grouching and that hasn’t been focused at the recipe, or how it is going thus far, but it has been towards my little computer! LOL! 😉 It just doesn’t seem to want to not go into powersave mode!! I am sure my husband thinks that I am just absolutely bonkers at this point, but it really is my fault for misplacing my printed recipe!! Oh well, I will have to go to my happy place when the recipe is ready for my attention again!! 😉

Anyway, the recipe is going alright so far, I think??? It is hard to tell when you are not sure exactly what it is supposed to look like at each step of the way, but I *THINK* it is working??? They should be done sometime this evening, so we will either have them with dinner, or I will pair them with fresh, sliced strawberries for dessert! YUM!!! I will take pictures and post them this evening, so you can see how they turn out!! Cross your fingers kiddies!!! 😉

I have a four-hour wait right now, while the dough is chilling in the fridge, which means I have some crafting time on my hands, so that will be nice!! Less stressful!!! and it looks like Jason is queuing up an episode of Bones at the moment. We are finally on season 4, and this season is just a weird season, especially without Zach. Plus the fact that they keep running through interns. However, the story lines seem to be really fun and interesting, which is good! I really love Booth and Bones together!!! He is such a champion for her, and I love that she is 15 degrees off normal!!! Too funny!!! 😉

Anyway, I will keep you posted on my croissant progress, but right now I am going to have to apologize to my little computer so she keeps behaving for me. I may have to go buy her a present!!! A new carrying case!!! WOO! HOO! she says!! 😉

Have a FABULOUS day!!! 😉

A Saturday Evening of Firsts!

Good evening!

Today has been such a SPLENDIFEROUS day!!! After getting off to a rousing start this morning, my husband was feeling froggy and decided to head out with me to do the few errands that I was wanting to get ran, and we got them all done and was back home by about noon – UNHEARD OF!!! WHOO! HOO!!

Anyway, we did quite a bit of grocery shopping, and even though Jason had woken up with his back feeling better, he had overdone it. I knew we would have to take it easy for the rest of the afternoon, which was cool because that kind of left me time to do some of the things that I had wanted to get done today anyway!!

After all of our errands, we were going to sit down and watch some tv, but I have decided that I have to wean myself off the need to “numb out” to the tele, so I asked my body what it wanted to do instead. I realized, I was really, really tired! So, I did the unthinkable and took a nap, Jason joined me and it was so sweet and peaceful. We woke up after a while feeling much better, his back and my energy level, and I knew it was time to get some cooking done!!! YEAH!!

I was very excited to start making croissants from scratch! I pulled up my croissant recipe, and realized, that it is going to 7 1/2 hour to prepare, so I had better start on them the first thing tomorrow morning – I will take pics of my progress. Change of plans!! So, for today, I decided to make a white sauce, something I had never done before! After the white sauce had thickened, I did a very Paula Deen kind of thing to it, and added about a cup of cheese to the basic recipe and, once melted stirred in some cooked whole wheat pasta – it was pretty tasty! I wanted to health up my white sauce, you know exchange some of the unhealthy ingredients with some healthier substitutions, so I used whole wheat flower, which made it a little grainy, so I will have to experiment with that. I also used skim milk – which is something my mom used to do all the time, so I was pretty pleased with the results. My sweetie didn’t seem to disapprove of it, although that is hard to decipher whether something is good or not because he is like “Mikey” and will eat just about anything!! LOL! But that is ok, I still love you, Baby!!! 😉

A friend of mine gave me a tea to try this week, more specifically a green tea. I have been looking for one that tastes halfway decent because I am hearing more and more how much it is good for me. Well, I am SOOO IN LOVE WITH THIS TEA!! I am going to pick up some more tomorrow morning – I had to find out online where it is sold, because I couldn’t find it at my grocery store this morning. This tea is called Mighty Leaf Tea, and the flavor is Marrakesh Mint Green Tea!! It is so delish!!! Which is really saying something because I don’t normally like green teas!!! I can not wait to have a stash of this in the house!! YUM!! 😉 I am going to pick up a few boxes of this, and gift one back to the friend who gave me the sample, as a thank you!! I really appreciated his generosity!! 😉

We did finally sit down to watch an episode of Bones this evening, and as soon as I am done blogging tonight, we are going to take our things and go head over to the pool to get some swimming in! I need to limber up for class this week, and I think the hot tub will do Jason’s back some good!!

Then when we get back, we may watch a movie while I do some crafting!! I am making all homemade gifts for Christmas this year, so I really had better get a move on!! I have a LOT of people on my list this year!!! 😉

It is so nice to just be, and not worry about what I “should” be doing, and just do what I WANT to be doing!!! What a novel concept!!! All-in all, I have to confess, this is a damn near perfect day!!!

Have a FABULOUS evening!! 😉

My Goal List for 2011!

Good morning!

Well, I was up bright and early this morning at 6:45 AM. Apparently that is what my body thinks it is supposed to do when I want to sleep in on this lovely Saturday morning!! I guess it actually did sleep in, since I have been up and at ’em every morning this week at 5:30 am – so there you go!! 😉

Yesterday, I had started thinking about My Life List, and thought about how I was able to cross a couple of items off for this year, belly dancing, and being on time to everything for a week. I realize it is already April, but I figured now was better later late than never to decide what other things I want to accomplish this year, and thought I would share this list with you!!

  • Adopt something from the French culture
  • Bake an authentic French baguette
  • Bake fresh croissants
  • Become a plus-sized model for a day
  • Become a vegetarian for a week
  • Blog every day for a year
  • Build a piñata from scratch
  • Cancel cable for at least a month
  • Cook an entire meal for Jason’s family
  • Create a time capsule
  • Create a warm, inviting & comfortable home where everything in it has a designated place
  • Crochet a queen-sized blanket using a difficult stitch
  • Do an entire cross stitch pattern
  • Eat at Voodoo Donuts in Portland, OR
  • Fill up a journal from cover to cover
  • Form a choir to sing Christmas carols
  • Gather a group of people to blow bubbles in a public space
  • Get a passport
  • Get a professional facial
  • Get a tattoo
  • Get an article published in a magazine
  • Get CPR/First Aid certified
  • Get eyelash extensions
  • Get paid to do what you love
  • Give everyone homemade gifts for Christmas
  • Go a day without speaking
  • Go fruit picking
  • Go out dancing
  • Go rock hunting for geodes
  • Go to a large water park
  • Go to Disneyland with Jason
  • Go whale watching
  • Go whitewater rafting
  • Grocery shop using only reusable bags for an entire month
  • Grow a flower garden
  • Grow a veggie garden
  • Hang laundry in the sun to dry
  • Have $20,000 in Savings
  • Have a grown-up sleepover
  • Have a home with an antique hardwood floor
  • Have a pin-up style photography shoot
  • Have a prayer alter in my home with stair-stepped candles
  • Have my photography displayed in a gallery
  • Have something studded with crystals
  • Hike the longest trail at Silver Creek Falls
  • Hold a jumbo garage sale to downsize belongings
  • Knit a scarf
  • Learn an authentic Hawaiian recipe
  • Learn how to build an SSIS package
  • Learn how to hula hoop
  • Learn how to make a ribbon lei
  • Learn how to make a white sauce
  • Learn how to manage money
  • Learn how to serve cheese
  • Learn how to take pictures with a Brownie Camera
  • Learn how to tile
  • Learn how to walk in heels
  • Learn how to work the camping stove, propane lights, etc
  • Learn scary advance SQL – subselects, unions, temp tables, etc
  • Learn to authentically barbecue beef
  • Learn to belly dance
  • Learn to can food
  • Learn to make ambrosia
  • Learn to make doughnuts
  • Learn to play piano
  • Leave $100 for a haggard waitress
  • Leave yourself a letter in a library book
  • Live without eating out for one month
  • Live without junk food for one week
  • Love my entire wardrobe
  • Make & send my own Christmas cards
  • Make a loan to an entrepreneur in a developing country through www.kiva.org
  • Make a quilt
  • Make Aunt Alice’s somen noodle recipe
  • Make authentic spam musubi
  • Make butterscotch from scratch
  • Make fire without matches
  • Make marshmallows from scratch
  • Make pasta from scratch
  • Make something powered by a potato
  • Make sourdough bread
  • Make yogurt from scratch
  • Meet Della Reese
  • Memorize the preamble
  • Milk a cow
  • Milk a goat
  • No cussing for an entire week
  • Organize a group of friends to spend a day picking up trash/litter from a public space
  • Organize a large family picture
  • Organize all of our personal photographs
  • Organize the scariest place in the house
  • Own a home furnishings boutique
  • Paint a mural
  • Paint a self portrait
  • Pan for gold
  • Pay off all debt
  • Perform 100 sit ups in one sitting
  • Play an entire song on a cornet, again
  • Play ping pong with Jason
  • Publish an e-book
  • Read every book I own
  • Read The Art of Being a Woman
  • Record a lullaby CD with my dad for my child in a recording studio
  • Refinish a piece of furniture
  • Ride a bike for an hour
  • Ride a paddleboat
  • Ride on a ferris wheel
  • Ride on a merry-go-round
  • Ride on a ride that scares the shit out of you – DO IT ANYWAY!!!
  • Ride on a roller coaster
  • Run a mile
  • See a classy burlesque show
  • See a view from the penthouse
  • See one of the planes my dad worked on in the Navy
  • See Pink Martini live in concert
  • See the filming of a Twilight Saga movie
  • Sell all of my jewelry from my old jewelry business
  • Send a letter to a politician telling them, “Job well done!”
  • Send a letter to Elisa every month for a year
  • Send a message in a bottle
  • Sew an entire outfit
  • Spend the day searching the Oregon coast for glass floats
  • Start a book club
  • Start a personal black & white photograph gallery of friends & family
  • Surprise someone with May Day flowers (Ding & Run!)
  • Swim 10 laps non-stop
  • Take a child to OMSI
  • Take a cooking class
  • Take a nature walk & press the wild flowers you collect
  • Take a photography class
  • Take a weekend vacation by myself
  • Take a yoga class
  • Take Jason on a surprise trip
  • Throw Jason a HUGE un-birthday party!
  • Try 10 scary fruits
  • Try 10 scary non fruit/veggie foods
  • Try 10 scary veggies
  • Type up great-great grandma’s recipe book for the family
  • Vacation in a yurt
  • Visit a historical cave
  • Visit a movie studio
  • Visit the Hollywood Museum at Max Factor Building
  • Visit the Winchester House in San Jose, CA
  • Volunteer in a homeless shelter
  • Wear a hat in public
  • Wear a size 14 pant
  • Wear a t-shirt that you’ve creatively changed
  • Wear a veil in public
  • Weigh less than 220 pounds
  • Wire a lamp
  • Write a celebrity a fan letter
  • Write a letter to the President

Whew!! That is a HUGE list!! Today, I plan on baking fresh croissants today, which I have never done before! Wish me luck, baking is NOT my forte.

I am also going to be working on my cross stitch pattern, which I almost have done, and my knitting a scarf project, which is about halfway done!!

I want to go swimming, take the girls for a walk, possibly meet up with some friends for lunch, play some games with Jason, take a nap (it sounds like I will need it), do some neglected house chores, organizing, purging, and reading done!! Again, I say WHEW!!!

Have a FABULOUS day!! 😉

Friday Night Wrap Up!

Good evening!

First I wanted to start out by saying…to my daddy & his wife Trudi! They have been married four happy years, today!!! I wish you both the VERY BEST!!! 😉

I love you very much!! 😉

When I was trying to decide what to write about this evening, I thought that I would just share with you that this has been a VERY GREAT week. Between my new habit of writing for an hour in my “Morning Pages” every morning, or getting brave enough to start a 3-month belly dancing class, at the size that I am, this has been a FABULOUS week of self-discovery.

I have always felt that I have had a pretty good handle on who I was, and what I wanted out of life, but the action of writing my scatter-brained-random-crazy-confusing thoughts down on paper, in my own handwriting, with no set writing rules, for an hour every morning has given me a clarity about myself that I have never experienced in all of my 35 years of living. I am starting to see things about myself that I’d always hoped would be present, and actually are, and some things that I have wanted to be present, more out of envy than true want, but will never be.

Both are ok.

Both define who I am.

I am starting to see that I am good.

And knowing who I authentically am, and who I am authentically not, is such an eye opener and the giver of true freedom.

Freedom to be me.

Without fear.

Without worry.

Without self-judgement.

That is huge for me. That might be huge for you too, I don’t know.

I took my first MAJOR step in literally stepping out of my self-imposed box, and took a belly dancing class. A belly dancing class that will last for 3 months, mind you!!  Being a 300+ pound woman, the old me would NEVER EVER have been brave enough to do that!! I was trying to talk myself into skipping the whole thing and just going home, all the way up through having to walk out of the dance studio’s restroom, after changing into my leggings and t-shirt, and I just stopped and remembered what I had already had discovered in my morning pages. I am an artist. I knew like a flash that I was not going to chicken out. For once in my adult life I was actually going to follow through with one scary thing on my life list simply because I knew it was AUTHENTICALLY ME!! I am an artist.

I am an artist.

I AM AN ARTIST!!!

I want to shout it from the rooftops!!

This is something that I have always, ALWAYS wanted, and was just too damn chicken to bring it to the forefront of my reality! I AM AN ARTIST! I get teary-eyed saying it out loud even now. I AM AN ARTIST! I ALWAYS have been, since I was as young as I can remember. Going to a belly dancing class is something that a creative person would do. When I made that mental connection then I wasn’t scared anymore. I walked out there, into the middle of all of these women – who I am sure have all of their own body issues going on, and are too focused on that, to be focusing on my body issues, stood right in front of the dance studio’s windows and I GAVE IT MY ALL AND HAD THE TIME OF MY LIFE!! It was as if I had taken a deep breath for the first time since I stopped playing music almost 13 years ago.  I am an artist.

Wow! I have always been a firm believer that God has a dream for you, but not only that, but that His dream for you is WAAAAAY BIGGER than you COULD EVER IMAGINE for yourself! I don’t know what the future holds, or what more the next 11 weeks of Morning Pages is going to help me uncover about myself, but I think that this week, I got a glimpse of God’s bigger plan for me, and it just jazzes me more than I could EVER imagine!! I guess that is the point, isn’t it?

He is bigger.

He is greater.

There is a little song that we used to sing as children, and these are the words:

God is so good,
God is so good,
God is so good,
He’s so good to me.

This simple little song sums up my feelings perfectly.

Have a FABULOUS evening! 😉