A Morning of Questions!

Good morning!

You know I have always heard that life is what happens while you are busy making other plans. After the past day and a half, I am starting to believe that!

Well, starting with work! I won’t go into too many details, but there are some big changes going on there, that has proven that we are all expendable. There may be no such thing as job security anymore. I have heard that before, and I am not sure why I am just now thinking that is true, but apparently I have been living with my head blissfully stuck in the sand! OUCH!! That is hard reality to learn, right?

In my personal life, things have been going, at least I thought, pretty damn near perfect! Last night, I got another wake up call in that arena too! Let’s just say that someone who I love dearly is struggling with their own inner demons, and there is just not a lot I can do fix the situation. I can just love and support that person while all the time praying for them. Sad. I wish I could do more. To be able to say, “See this is how I fixed this with myself, you can do exactly the same things and you can fix yourself too!” Doesn’t work that way – we are all unique, and we all have to move through our stories our own way. We are kind of like those “Choose Your Own Adventure” books that I used to LOVE reading as a child!! You never know where you will end up, but you know that somewhere along the way that there will be a decision that will lead you to a happy ending, or too an early dramatic death. Now, maybe real life isn’t that simple, matter of fact, I am sure of that – but I feel like my life is one of those books, and at every fork in the road, I have to make the decision – “Yes, or no?”. Every answer seems to be leading me to a completely different destination!

Last night, I had this intense desire to pack up my entire life and just run away from this life. I realize that would NEVER solve anything because no matter where I end up, there I will be! 🙂 Yes, momma, I was listening!! 😉

Some good news though! I have been doing my morning pages (from The Artist’s Way program), and somewhere along the way, within the past 5 years, I seemed to have lost the ability to dream, which has always really bothered me because I have ALWAYS been a very avid dreamer. Since starting my morning pages, I am into week 4 starting this morning, my dreams have started coming back, however they have been really disturbing! Last evening my sweetie and I were out for a drive out in the country and we were talking about a couple of my more disturbing dreams, trying to psychoanalyze them. Well, in doing this I was able to get some mental clarification on what my subconscious is trying to tell me. I think that through my work on my inner self, using The Artist’s Way program, I have tapped into a place deep down inside of me that I thought was dead. My authentic self, my creative self. Now that I realize that know that not only is it alive and kicking, it is screaming to be let out!!! However, I am scared that someone is going to come along the way and tell me that I am not allowed to tap into this inner creativity that I have rediscovered, and it will die again. How is that for deep??? I know, I sometimes even surprise myself!!! LOL! 😉 But honestly, I am really thankful for having this program come into my life at the exact right moment I was ready to put it into action – I know I must sound like some kind of commercial for it, but I don’t get any kind of compensation or anything from The Artist’s Way people, I am literally just a reader, and a doer, whose life is changing for the better because of this insightful program!!

Alright, that is enough of my soapbax this morning!!! 😉 I am going to get some more cleaning done, I am hope that I can get all of the laundry done and put away, including the bedding for bed this evening! Which mean, I had better get hoppin’!!!

Have a FABULOUS evening!! 😉