It has been a while since I last posted, so I thought I would spend some time this evening letting you know how things are going!
Since last we spoke, I have gotten on some much needed anti-anxiety/depression medication, and I must admit, for the first week or two, I was pleasantly pleased by how much better I felt. Not too long after starting these new medications I had some huge changes announced in my work life that neither myself nor my team had any control, input, or say over, and whether we liked it or not the changes were happening and they were going to happen in a very short amount of time. The changes have already started to take place, and to say that I am not dealing well is a HUGE understatement!
I have always prided myself on being an advocate for change, and I am always on the lookout for how to make things better, so I am not sure why I am struggling so badly now. I took a mental health day today – I was literally up all night stressing over what is going on at work – so I knew I needed to take some time to make my health a priority and get some much needed sleep. I really did have the best of intentions, but as soon as my sweetie left to go to work this morning, which was only about an hour after I had finally fallen to sleep, I was back up and just freaking about all of these changes at work that has just left me feeling so powerless and unimportant. I literally planted myself on my couch, with my two four-legged girls, and hung out under a blanket while giving my NetFlix account a workout!!
As soon as my sweetie found out that that is how I had been spending my day, and that my “meals” today consisted of some bread and peanuts, he scheduled an intervention, and told me to be dressed and ready to go out by 3, because “We are getting you out of the house!”
My sweetie, who is my Rock of Gibraltar, picked me up and took me downtown, on what he was calling a de-stressing date. He made sure that I took my new camera with us so that I can take pictures of anything that inspired me. He also declared himself my “sexy photographer’s assistant”, which is SOOOOOOO true! I am one lucky girl!! We had so much fun spending time just brainstorming what our next steps will be, even going through worse case scenarios, where he helped me see that even that wasn’t as bad as what I had made it out to be in my head. He convinced me that we really will make it through all of this, and we will do it together – see I told you I was a lucky girl!! I took a bunch of pics while my sweetie kept me laughing, and he even patiently stayed with me while I visited one of my favorite craft stores for a few new art supplies (as if I really needed any more) 🙂 Then he took me to one of our favorite restaurants where we were able to share a really delicious steak dinner, which was quite scrum-diddly-umptious, if I do say so myself!!!
We are now home, and I am seriously tired, and am wondering if 7:30 is too early to go to bed?? No worries! I am already in my pj’s, listening to some happy music and am ready to have a quiet evening truly relaxing at home! and even though I know that I am going to have to make some difficult decision over the next couple of months, tonight, at this moment, I am going to seriously be thankful for all that I do have. As my sister, Alex would remind me, “I am blessed. I am loved.” Yes, sissy, I am.
Here is to a much needed restful evening! 😉
If you want to have a different life, you have to live differently!!