Monthly Archives: October 2013

Is This What Crazy Feels Like?

Good morning!

I told myself, when I decided to start this new blog, that the only way that this would be beneficial to anyone, including me, is if I agreed to be 100% totally honest, and use my absolute authentic voice. No more “everything-is-perfect-all smiles-all-the-time” blog posts for me! So here goes nothing…be brave…be brave…you can do it…

This morning I awoke from a really bad dream, my second in two nights. It was one of those dreams that leaves you shaken to the core, because unlike the nightmare from two nights ago, which was obviously caused by stress going on in my work life, this one hit too close to home. I watched one of my younger sisters fall to her death. UGH!!! Ok! Now, I know it was just a bad dream, and I am sure my lil’ sis is just fine, cozily snuggled up in her bed, fast asleep, but this dream may have been the final straw in my realization that my inner child’s needs are not being taken care of!

You, see there are a lot of areas of my life that I have been settling for second best, or even completely ignoring for far too long; areas like my work, health, finances, fitness, friendships, contribution to my community, commitment to my personal growth, and even my free-time and play has been suffering! And because I have not been honoring my authentic self in quite a while, my inner Chrissie is starting to throw a tantrum! You know the kind of tantrum I’m talking about? The kind that we’ve all seen kids throw, on the floor in the middle of a busy grocery store aisle, the kind where mothers of the offending child embarrassingly and yet innocently turn around and say, “Who’s child is this????”, as if it couldn’t possibly be theirs!! πŸ™‚

I am learning that my inner Chrissie has a tendency to throw her own tantrums when she doesn’t get enough attention!

I can’t possibly be the only one who has ever experienced this, can she???

To top that off, there is a long history of mental illness in my family, and my biggest fear in life – and I mean bigger than my fear of being abandoned, or even my bigger fear of spiders (and anyone who knows me knows thatΒ THAT IS HUGE!!!!), my biggest fear is that somewhere along the path, that is my life, I am going to run right smack into mental illness, like it was just waiting all these years for just the right moment to strike, like a cold germ that was just waiting to be caught. This morning, after I awoke very shakily from my nightmare, my first thought was…

Is this what going crazy feels like????

I told my uber-sweet and ever supportive husband, “I think I am having a nervous breakdown”, and, without missing a beat, which was shocking because he was still half asleep, he reached out to hold my hand and very lovingly told me, ‘Well, you better get it over with quickly.” He was so serious, and yet so cute when he said it, I couldn’t help but laugh. “Thanks, love!” πŸ˜‰

I know he meant it in the nicest way possible, but what he was really saying was we don’t have time in our schedules for your to be having a nervous breakdown right now, so please, get it over with quickly enough so that we can get you out of the house and to the office on time! LOL! πŸ˜‰

As I am sitting here, in bed, typing this (yes, I know a laptop in bed is not good bed etiquette, but desperate times calls for desperate measures!) I can’t help thinking, “Ok, little Chrissie, I hear you, how can I get you to happy so we can sleep with sweet dreams again?”

The answer to this question is why I am here. That is why I created Beautiful Creatives AKA This Beautiful Life. My goal in this journey is that I can help myself, and in turn possibly help others get unstuck in their lives, and get from where they may find themselves, unhappy, unhealthy, unfulfilled, un-whatever (I’m just talking from my own experiences here), and get to where their souls are longing to be – mine included! I have a girlfriend who is a psychology professor, and she likes to say that you become what it is you need in your life, and right now, that is what I am hoping to do. I need a life coach, a mentor, a cheerleader, someone to hold my hand as I walk through this journey that is called life, I need resources for time management, stress reduction, overall getting-my-crap-together-ness. I want to use my personal experiences to help motivate and inspire others to stretch out, baby step by baby step and live life on purpose and to live life both deeply and widely! We were never meant to be one-dimensional beings!

I am not exactly sure what all this is going to look like, but I am going to keep my eyes, ears, and heart open and see what comes my way!! I hope you will join me, and I look forward to sharing more of my life with you, and creating a fun, and beautiful sisterhood of love, support, and encouragement!

Here is to living beautifully!

~Christina πŸ˜‰

Goodbye to 38 by 38 Hello to 39 by 39!

CrownGood afternoon!

Yep! You have heard correctly, yesterday was my birthday so I am officially 38!! WHOO! HOO!! πŸ˜‰

As some of you may already know, I every year I put together a X by X list. A # of objects by number of years I will have been alive by the time I finish this goal list! Two years ago was my 37 by 37 list, this past year was my 38 by 38 list, and starting today, I will be actively working on my 39 by 39 list. This is the list where I take 39 things from my master Life List and schedule the 39 things that I want to do before my birthday this next year!

Before I show you my 39 by 39 list, I thought I would start out by showing you how my 38 by 38 turned out!! πŸ™‚

Here is my 38 by 38 list:

  1. Put $1,000 into a mini emergency fund – DONE!
  2. Pay off all of my non-mortgage debt – Almost there, almost about $4000 to go!! WHEW!!!
  3. Regularly tithe 10% of our household income – I did better on this one that I expected, but I wasn’t as consistent as I wanted to be.
  4. Downsize our belongings so that everything we own fit into our 2-bedroom, 1 car garage condo – DONE!
  5. Jog a mile – DONE!
  6. Take the train
  7. Go camping – DONE!
  8. Blow bubbles out of the car window while on a road trip – DONE!
  9. Clean out the garage – DONE!
  10. Hike the longest trail at Silver Creek Falls – DONE!
  11. Go on a walking tour of downtown Salem – I get a great deal on this from Groupon! I just have to schedule this before it expires and it will be done!!
  12. Take a cooking class
  13. Host a slumber party – DONE!
  14. Create a new line of inspiring art pieces of at least 12 designs
  15. Start my own company – DONE!
  16. Redesign my blog to make it a reflection of my personal style – DONE!
  17. Invest in blog/career business cards – DONE!
  18. Launch an interview series on my blog
  19. Send fifty handwritten handwritten notes (1 of 50)
  20. Lose an accumulative 100 pounds (105 of 100) – DONE!
  21. Volunteer in a cause that is near and dear to my heart
  22. Ride my bike for an hour straight
  23. Have a weekend vacation at the coast – DONE!
  24. Sell my entire collection of Pink Paisley Boutique jewelry (LET IT GO!)
  25. Host a movie-themed party
  26. Inspire someone to write a list of their own – DONE!
  27. Be featured in a creative publication
  28. Try at least 12 new recipes (12 of 12) – DONE!
  29. Prepare a meal using fresh ingredients from the Farmer’s Market
  30. Use re-usable shopping bags for all grocery shopping for an entire month
  31. Read every Jane Austen novel (1 of 5) – I read Pride and Prejudice
  32. Get a facial
  33. Revitalize 5 old pieces of furniture
  34. Teach an online class
  35. Read my Flying Lessons class book
  36. Wear bright red lipstick out in public for a day – DONE!
  37. Have at least 48 artist dates (35 of 48) – I did WAAAAAY better on this than I thought I would! So, I am going to consider this a win!!! πŸ˜‰
  38. Have fresh flowers in the house every week for at least 10 weeks (6 of 10) – This was harder and more expensive than I thought, but I may try this one again!! πŸ˜‰

As usual, I got a lot more accomplished than I thought I was going to, but there were actually a few things I was able to mark off of my master Life List that I wasn’t planning on. Here are those things:

  1. Fly first class – I did this on the spur of the moment on my last business trip!! First class was soooo worth the extra moola spent!!! πŸ˜‰
  2. Learn to hula hoop – My friend, Jamie, inspired me to give this a try. I went out and bought a hula hoop, much to the chagrin of my sweetie, and I did, right there in my living room – almost breaking a lamp, but having a BLAST just the same!!! πŸ˜‰
  3. Run a mile – I thought I would NEVER be able to do this!!
  4. Run a 5k – I thought either I was going to die doing this, or I was going to kill my sweetie for making me! But, in the end I was soooo happy I did this!!!
  5. Cross my legs – Who knew???? One day, I looked down, and realized, ‘Hey! I’m crossing my legs!!!’ It might as well have been free tickets to Paris! Yes, I was truly THAT excited!!! πŸ˜‰
  6. Touch my toes with knees unbent – this was another one that I thought I would never be able to, but my sweetie insisted that I tried it. When I realized I could actually touch my toes, I wanted to sit in that position FOREVER!!
  7. Be able to do a complete Sun Salutation – Another shocker!! I am sure I don’t do it as gracefully as the ladies online do, but who cares???? I CAN DO THIS!!! Good morning, Sun!!! πŸ˜‰
  8. Buy Jason a truck – Yep! I was VERY happy to be able to do this for my sweetie!!
  9. Create & post a video on YouTube – I am not sure why I thought this was such a scary thing!?? Easy peasy!!
  10. Do an entire cross stitch pattern – Another easy peasy goal!!
  11. Draw a piece of art that I am happy with – After I finished this particular piece I was surprised that it actually came out of me!!
  12. Go to a counselor – this was a requirement of the bariatric surgery, but it was still on my list so I am counting it!!
  13. Hire a nutritionist – same as 12!
  14. Hike the longest trail at Silver Creek Falls (10.4 miles) – This might have been the hardest 4 hours of my life!! UGH!!!
  15. Learn how to manage money – Thank you, Mr. Dave Ramsey!!!
  16. Learn how to purl – I did this, hated it, crossed it off of my list anyways!!
  17. Learn how to walk in heels – YEAH!! I’m a girl! I’m a girl!!
  18. Live without eating out for one month – bariatric surgery made this one easy!
  19. Live without junk food for one week – Same for this one!!
  20. Love my entire wardrobe – This is easy to do when you are down to two pairs of pants, a blazer, denim jacket, 3 dresses, and a few miscellaneous tops!
  21. Weigh less than 300 pounds – I will NEVER GO BACK!!
  22. Weigh less than 275 pounds – This was a little less than what I weighed when my mom died!
  23. Weigh less than 250 pounds – My goal is getting so close, I can almost feel it!!
  24. Weigh less than 225 pounds – This is so much harder than I expected!!! Keep going!!! πŸ˜‰
  25. Eat at doughnut at Voodoo Donuts in Portland, OR – Such a LOOOOONG wait in a LOOOOOOON line, for an ok donut, but so much fun spending some silly time with my sweetie!!

WHEW!! I have been busy!! πŸ˜‰

NOW, what do I want to see on my 39 by 39 list????

  1. Go to Brave Girls’ Camp
  2. Weigh less than 220 pounds
  3. Weigh less than 215 pounds
  4. Weigh less than 210 pounds
  5. Weigh less than 205 pounds
  6. Weigh less than 200 pounds
  7. Publish my own e-book
  8. Start my creative business’ website
  9. Start my creative business’ blog
  10. Watch a baby being born (my nephew – Liam)
  11. Become a life coach
  12. Be a mentor to someone else
  13. Be a spokesperson for something positive
  14. Beat Jason at a game of chess
  15. Read all of Jane Austen’s novels (1 of 5)
  16. Become a motivational speaker
  17. Become a plus-sized model for a day
  18. Build a loom
  19. Learn how to use a loom
  20. Grow a vegetable garden
  21. Carve a piece of art
  22. Build a piΓ±ata from scratch
  23. Climb a rock wall
  24. Cook an entire meal for Jason’s family
  25. Contact a distant family member & start communicating
  26. Share my art-making-process via a YouTube channel
  27. Purchase a professional camera
  28. Learn how to use it
  29. Create a time capsule
  30. Take a road trip down the Pacific Coast Highway
  31. Do a backbend
  32. Do a cartwheel
  33. Do a flip off a diving board
  34. Do a handstand
  35. Gather a group of people to blow bubbles in a public space
  36. Get a life coach
  37. Get a passport
  38. Get a pen-pal from a different country
  39. Get paid to do what you love
  40. Go kayaking
  41. Grocery shop using only reusable bags for an entire month
  42. Hang laundry in the sun to dry
  43. Pay off all non-mortgage debt
  44. Have 3 – 6 months expenses in an emergency savings account
  45. Have a prayer alter in my home with stair-stepped candles
  46. Knit a scarf
  47. Learn French
  48. Learn HTML
  49. Learn the basic ballet steps
  50. Learn the proper way to open a coconut
  51. Learn to can food
  52. Learn to create a frame to stretch canvas over
  53. Learn to make a book from scratch
  54. Learn to make ambrosia
  55. Learn to make doughnuts
  56. Leave $100 for a haggard waitress
  57. Make & send my own Christmas cards
  58. Make a loan to an entrepreneur in a developing country through
  59. Milk a cow
  60. Organize a large family picture
  61. Own a pair of fabulous fitting walking knee-high boots
  62. Own an income producing blog
  63. Perform 100 sit-ups in one sitting
  64. Sell all of my jewelry from my old jewelry business
  65. Start a book club
  66. Take a cooking class
  67. Take a nature walk & press the wild flowers you collect
  68. Take a painting class
  69. Take a photography class
  70. Take a weekend vacation by myself
  71. Teach an online art class
  72. Type up great-great grandma’s recipe book for the family
  73. Volunteer in a homeless shelter
  74. Wear a size 14 pant


Ok, so I can TOTALLY see that there are WAAAAAAY more than 39 things on this list!! I think, at least for right this moment, I am going to keep the list extra long like this, and shoot to complete at least 39 items off of this list!! It is my perogative to change my mind at any moment in time to completely rehash this list or to completely start it over. As it stands right now, this list really makes me happy, and the idea of removing anything from it, honestly, really makes me sad! SO, to heck with it!! THIS WILL BE MY NEW 39 by 39 List!!

Here is to a FABULOUSLY productive, artsy, and memorable year!!! πŸ˜‰

Signature Line

If you want to have a different life, you have to live differently!!